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Yo, you've reached my voicemail. I'm indisposed at the moment, so leave a message and I'll hit ya back. Peace.
[beep]
Mun or muse contact here, via e-mail, or via AIM, as you wish
Working for Work's Sake
Fri, Dec. 11th, 2020 10:56 pmWhile Mel was inside, working on making food and lists, Bobby set himself to the task of designing her new desk. The work, having something to do besides stare at his hands, or at her, was good. It allowed him to push everything aside and focus on something purely physical.
Once he had a better idea of the size of the desk she needed, he started pulling wood from his collection. It took some doing but he had enough to, hopefully, build what she needed. Next, he went to check what he had for stains. He found a couple of lighter ones and he set them aside for her to pick. Only once all that was done did he go inside looking for her. And, maybe, eat some food.
Once he had a better idea of the size of the desk she needed, he started pulling wood from his collection. It took some doing but he had enough to, hopefully, build what she needed. Next, he went to check what he had for stains. He found a couple of lighter ones and he set them aside for her to pick. Only once all that was done did he go inside looking for her. And, maybe, eat some food.
27.2 - How does that make you feel?
Sun, Nov. 30th, 2008 04:09 pm"How does that make you feel?" Bobby hated that question, especially coming from her. And she knew it.
Despite the fact that this was a phoned in session, Bobby still felt like he was in her office. As such, it only took a moment for her question to drive him to his feet. Pacing in the small living room of their apartment, Bobby cussed under his breath.
"Ya know damn well how that makes me feel," he gave her in response, his tone clipped. He said it, even knowing that she would not accept it as an answer.
And he was right. Her light laugh filtered over the phone. She knew she had him. "Even if I do, Robert, that does not mean I'm not going to insist that you tell me. You called me, remember? You didn't have to."
She always had him in moments like that and he always responded the same way. He always told her. Except this time. This time he just hung up the phone and tossed it on the couch. "That's how I feel about it, bitch."
[184 words]
Despite the fact that this was a phoned in session, Bobby still felt like he was in her office. As such, it only took a moment for her question to drive him to his feet. Pacing in the small living room of their apartment, Bobby cussed under his breath.
"Ya know damn well how that makes me feel," he gave her in response, his tone clipped. He said it, even knowing that she would not accept it as an answer.
And he was right. Her light laugh filtered over the phone. She knew she had him. "Even if I do, Robert, that does not mean I'm not going to insist that you tell me. You called me, remember? You didn't have to."
She always had him in moments like that and he always responded the same way. He always told her. Except this time. This time he just hung up the phone and tossed it on the couch. "That's how I feel about it, bitch."
[184 words]
51.1 - Make a list of people you would take a bullet for.
Sun, Nov. 30th, 2008 03:53 pmThe Bullet List
- Mel
- Leo
- Giac
- Anson
- Marius
- Brand
- Tony
- Percy (yeah, yeah. hush)
- Joey
- Zee
- Mab (seriously, shut up, I got my reasons)
- Nick
- Norrin
- Addie
- Mel
- Leo
- Giac
- Anson
- Marius
- Brand
- Tony
- Percy (yeah, yeah. hush)
- Joey
- Zee
- Mab (seriously, shut up, I got my reasons)
- Nick
- Norrin
- Addie
8.9.4 - Every Breath You Take
Sun, Nov. 30th, 2008 03:28 pmEvery single day
Every word you say
Every game you play
Every night you stay
I'll be watching you
She worked in the kitchen and he watched her. That was what he did now, he watched. It was all he could do. He was waiting for her to snap, for her to finally get around to blaming him for what happened.
No matter what anyone told him, he would always feel responsible. Part of that came from his belief that the child had been his and part of that came from his ingrained sense of being a failure. He had only his own father to thank for that, but there was little that would change his mind on the matter.
So he watched her and waited for her to finally be fed up with him.
Yet, every time she caught him looking at her, she just smiled. There was no blame in the smile, no accusation. No matter how hard he looked, he could only see love in her eyes. A love that he didn't believe should still be there. He was to blame and she would not.
Her belief in him made it hard for him to keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. Her smile, always there for him when she looked at him, stole away at his resolve. Her smile started to warm him, fill him.
Her smile finally started to make him feel whole again. So he kept watching her. What else could he do.
[232 words]
Every word you say
Every game you play
Every night you stay
I'll be watching you
She worked in the kitchen and he watched her. That was what he did now, he watched. It was all he could do. He was waiting for her to snap, for her to finally get around to blaming him for what happened.
No matter what anyone told him, he would always feel responsible. Part of that came from his belief that the child had been his and part of that came from his ingrained sense of being a failure. He had only his own father to thank for that, but there was little that would change his mind on the matter.
So he watched her and waited for her to finally be fed up with him.
Yet, every time she caught him looking at her, she just smiled. There was no blame in the smile, no accusation. No matter how hard he looked, he could only see love in her eyes. A love that he didn't believe should still be there. He was to blame and she would not.
Her belief in him made it hard for him to keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. Her smile, always there for him when she looked at him, stole away at his resolve. Her smile started to warm him, fill him.
Her smile finally started to make him feel whole again. So he kept watching her. What else could he do.
[232 words]
41.1 (formerly 40.4) - Bond Quote (RP for ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
writer_mel)
Sun, Nov. 30th, 2008 02:54 pmThey were in Venice. Venice always was lovely this time of year. Not that Bobby had the faintest idea what time of year it actually was. The passage of time time had ceased to matter.
And why should it matter? They weren't counting down to anything anymore. There was nothing to look forward to, nothing to eagerly await. There was only living, such as it was. Leo had retreated into wherever it was that he went while he and Mel traveled Europe.
Bobby had no illusions. They were running blindly. They were looking for the answer to a question that didn't have an answer. They were looking for the why. The why that didn't matter. It was done. All that was left was to rebuild.
All that was left was to admit that there was truly a foundation to rebuild on. He still loved her and he wasn't so sure she believed him. He was, in fact, quite certain that she had decided he'd built his walls again, the walls he'd had when he met Leo, the walls he'd had the first time he slept with her.
He had not. He couldn't. They were destroyed.
"Hey, Mel, whatcha thinking?" He called out over his shoulder, having heard her come out onto the balcony of their small rented apartment.
And why should it matter? They weren't counting down to anything anymore. There was nothing to look forward to, nothing to eagerly await. There was only living, such as it was. Leo had retreated into wherever it was that he went while he and Mel traveled Europe.
Bobby had no illusions. They were running blindly. They were looking for the answer to a question that didn't have an answer. They were looking for the why. The why that didn't matter. It was done. All that was left was to rebuild.
All that was left was to admit that there was truly a foundation to rebuild on. He still loved her and he wasn't so sure she believed him. He was, in fact, quite certain that she had decided he'd built his walls again, the walls he'd had when he met Leo, the walls he'd had the first time he slept with her.
He had not. He couldn't. They were destroyed.
"Hey, Mel, whatcha thinking?" He called out over his shoulder, having heard her come out onto the balcony of their small rented apartment.
144. TEN favorite pizza toppings.
Sun, Nov. 30th, 2008 02:27 pmFavorite pizza toppings
1. Cheese, lots of cheese
2. Bacon, 'cause everything's better with bacon
3. Italian Sausage
4. Pepperoni
5. Peppers
6. Olives
7. Ham & Pineapple, ya gotta have 'em together
8. Onions
9. Pesto
10. Sun-dried Tomatoes
1. Cheese, lots of cheese
2. Bacon, 'cause everything's better with bacon
3. Italian Sausage
4. Pepperoni
5. Peppers
6. Olives
7. Ham & Pineapple, ya gotta have 'em together
8. Onions
9. Pesto
10. Sun-dried Tomatoes
Nov. Disc 1, Track 5
Sun, Nov. 9th, 2008 06:04 pmBut Ah! Who needs that sentimental bullshit, anyway // Takes more than just a memory to make me cry (Cold Chisel – ‘Flame Trees’)
Being injured can wear on a man and it can remind him of the things he misses, especially when he can't see them. Separation is a pain, it hurts in places that can't be medicated. Not that he could really be medicated anyway.
When Eothian stopped coming around, he didn't really know what to think. The other man had been a reassuring constant. He had been the one who, without knowing it, finally convinced Bobby to get rid of Simon. And then there was his gifts. The bodyguard was the strangest, but Bobby liked her anyway.
She teased him because he couldn't say her name. She teased him because he'd taken to calling her Alice. They were friends because of Eothian and he didn't even really know it.
Bunny, in Boston, was also often on Bobby's mind. When he was well enough to travel, he and Alice were going to visit. He wanted to see Shiloh. Handsome, small Shiloh, he wanted to see the way the boy made Bunny smile. He needed that for his recovery. He needed to see happiness to recover.
And then there was Breacan. He had no idea what to do about Breacan. The man had left and it was like he'd dropped off the face of the Earth. Why not, Bobby figured. There was only so much trying a person could do.
Then Mel called. And that changed everything.
[238 words]
Being injured can wear on a man and it can remind him of the things he misses, especially when he can't see them. Separation is a pain, it hurts in places that can't be medicated. Not that he could really be medicated anyway.
When Eothian stopped coming around, he didn't really know what to think. The other man had been a reassuring constant. He had been the one who, without knowing it, finally convinced Bobby to get rid of Simon. And then there was his gifts. The bodyguard was the strangest, but Bobby liked her anyway.
She teased him because he couldn't say her name. She teased him because he'd taken to calling her Alice. They were friends because of Eothian and he didn't even really know it.
Bunny, in Boston, was also often on Bobby's mind. When he was well enough to travel, he and Alice were going to visit. He wanted to see Shiloh. Handsome, small Shiloh, he wanted to see the way the boy made Bunny smile. He needed that for his recovery. He needed to see happiness to recover.
And then there was Breacan. He had no idea what to do about Breacan. The man had left and it was like he'd dropped off the face of the Earth. Why not, Bobby figured. There was only so much trying a person could do.
Then Mel called. And that changed everything.
[238 words]
24.2 - 13 things you love about your significant other.
Sun, Nov. 2nd, 2008 06:32 pm24.2 - 13 things you love about your significant other.
1. He's a stubborn bastard
2. He's a handsome bastard
3. He does this seriously cute little squirming thing if I hug him in the middle of the night
4. He doesn't put up with my shit, except when he does
5. He understands that I'm not perfect
6. He's not perfect, either
7. She loves Leo as much as she loves me
8. She wants to be a part of us, even when it's hard
9. She carried our baby to the best of her ability
10. She doesn't take my shit, either
12. She's funnier than I would have guessed
13. They both stay, even if I don't deserve them
1. He's a stubborn bastard
2. He's a handsome bastard
3. He does this seriously cute little squirming thing if I hug him in the middle of the night
4. He doesn't put up with my shit, except when he does
5. He understands that I'm not perfect
6. He's not perfect, either
7. She loves Leo as much as she loves me
8. She wants to be a part of us, even when it's hard
9. She carried our baby to the best of her ability
10. She doesn't take my shit, either
12. She's funnier than I would have guessed
13. They both stay, even if I don't deserve them
43.3. Trick-or-treaters
Sun, Nov. 2nd, 2008 05:57 pmMake a list of costumes you hate seeing trick-or-treaters wear.
Plastic devils - Put some damn work into it
Ghosts - At least do better than a sheet
That damn Scream guy - Hello, Cliche
Fairies - That's a very personal reason, thanks
Pumpkins - That is only cool for babies
Let's put it like this, I will reward effort with money. If you didn't try, I have some really crappy candy for you.
Plastic devils - Put some damn work into it
Ghosts - At least do better than a sheet
That damn Scream guy - Hello, Cliche
Fairies - That's a very personal reason, thanks
Pumpkins - That is only cool for babies
Let's put it like this, I will reward effort with money. If you didn't try, I have some really crappy candy for you.
136. TEN fears you have
Sun, Nov. 2nd, 2008 05:38 pmTEN fears you have
1. Everyone realizing I'm not good enough
2. The miscarriage being my fault
3. Mel deciding to leave
4. Leo deciding to leave
5. Losing the bond with Leo
6. Not being able to sculpt anymore
7. Being tied down (literally and metaphorically)
8. Losing any more friends
9. Forgetting or being forgotten
10. Being alone
1. Everyone realizing I'm not good enough
2. The miscarriage being my fault
3. Mel deciding to leave
4. Leo deciding to leave
5. Losing the bond with Leo
6. Not being able to sculpt anymore
7. Being tied down (literally and metaphorically)
8. Losing any more friends
9. Forgetting or being forgotten
10. Being alone
[Private] 10/29/08
Wed, Oct. 29th, 2008 10:22 pmI did it. I might actually have been the hardest thing I've done in nearly a decade.
I told Simon to leave. But that was not the hard part. The hard part came when he wouldn't. The hard part came when I had to call the police and have him removed.
I had to call the cops and have him removed.
It took Nurse Nancy's help to do it. She'd been watching him since Breacan had come. She made the calls that got me a new doctor. She stopped drugging me during the day so I could think.
She saved my life, when no one else could.
Tomorrow, if the new doctor approves, we're going to the court house to get a restraining order. He's not getting back in.
[Written in a leather journal]
I told Simon to leave. But that was not the hard part. The hard part came when he wouldn't. The hard part came when I had to call the police and have him removed.
I had to call the cops and have him removed.
It took Nurse Nancy's help to do it. She'd been watching him since Breacan had come. She made the calls that got me a new doctor. She stopped drugging me during the day so I could think.
She saved my life, when no one else could.
Tomorrow, if the new doctor approves, we're going to the court house to get a restraining order. He's not getting back in.
[Written in a leather journal]
(no subject)
Wed, Oct. 29th, 2008 07:52 pmIn the last couple of weeks, I have come to a conclusion. I have an amazing number of fair weather friends. As soon as the shit hit the fan in our personal life, everyone fled like we were all contagious.
EVERYONE.
How the fuck is that supposed to make me feel? I have stood next to people through some pretty major shit. My world falls down around my ears and suddenly I might as well have the plague.
Fuck all of you.
Some support would have been nice.
Now, now I don't want it. I will do this without your fucking help.
It's too late. There's nothing left to rebuild here. All the bridges are burned. I'm using what's left of them to feed my hate. It's the only thing keeping me warm.
[ooc: Stage Two of the Kübler-Ross model is Anger. Anger is going to last for a while.]
EVERYONE.
How the fuck is that supposed to make me feel? I have stood next to people through some pretty major shit. My world falls down around my ears and suddenly I might as well have the plague.
Fuck all of you.
Some support would have been nice.
Now, now I don't want it. I will do this without your fucking help.
It's too late. There's nothing left to rebuild here. All the bridges are burned. I'm using what's left of them to feed my hate. It's the only thing keeping me warm.
[ooc: Stage Two of the Kübler-Ross model is Anger. Anger is going to last for a while.]
Danger, Will Robinson, Danger. Totally random mun post because the mun refuses to maintain a personal journal.
For the record, yes, I'm bitchy. For the record, I am also rather disgruntled with some of my pups.
I am disgruntled with Rabbit. He is overstressed because of the things I have done to him. And, as amusing as the idea of killing him is, as cathartic as it would be for me in the short term, I am aware of the effect it would have on others. I have been screwed over enough by other people's actions to not do that to anyone else.
I am disgruntled with the Dog. This is COMPLETELY my fault. He is taking that miscarriage thing pretty hard.
But, even with my disgruntledness, I know that I, and no one else, is ultimately responsible for their actions. Yes, there are times when it feels like they are running the show. But they aren't. I am. And, while I try to let things go as they will, sometimes my intervention is ABSOLUTELY required. Yes, I feel bad when I do it and I have to make damn sure that it doesn't come off OOC. But I'm not playing with myself and I try very hard to not let my pups do things that will screw over someone else.
I'd like to think that I succeed more often then I fail. But I know that I do fail.
And for those failures, I am sorry.
For the record, yes, I'm bitchy. For the record, I am also rather disgruntled with some of my pups.
I am disgruntled with Rabbit. He is overstressed because of the things I have done to him. And, as amusing as the idea of killing him is, as cathartic as it would be for me in the short term, I am aware of the effect it would have on others. I have been screwed over enough by other people's actions to not do that to anyone else.
I am disgruntled with the Dog. This is COMPLETELY my fault. He is taking that miscarriage thing pretty hard.
But, even with my disgruntledness, I know that I, and no one else, is ultimately responsible for their actions. Yes, there are times when it feels like they are running the show. But they aren't. I am. And, while I try to let things go as they will, sometimes my intervention is ABSOLUTELY required. Yes, I feel bad when I do it and I have to make damn sure that it doesn't come off OOC. But I'm not playing with myself and I try very hard to not let my pups do things that will screw over someone else.
I'd like to think that I succeed more often then I fail. But I know that I do fail.
And for those failures, I am sorry.
The moment of truth
Tue, Oct. 28th, 2008 03:18 pmSo, I've tried this hiatus thing with Rabbit. And it hasn't worked so well. He didn't want to be quiet while I tried to put him away. So, on the advice of another mun, I sort of took him off. And it has not worked out so well. I daresay he is now even worse off then he was.
The continued playability of the verse is in question. So, I want to get a sense of what everyone else thinks should happen. Ultimately, this will be my decision, but I am curious.
Please vote, then give me your reason for what you choose. Comments will be screened.
[Poll #1286893]
The continued playability of the verse is in question. So, I want to get a sense of what everyone else thinks should happen. Ultimately, this will be my decision, but I am curious.
Please vote, then give me your reason for what you choose. Comments will be screened.
[Poll #1286893]
Alright, listen up...
Fri, Oct. 24th, 2008 11:01 amI've tried nice. I've tried mean. Now I'm just gonna say it. It's great that ya got my headmates some places to play.
But don't ya DARE forget 'bout me! If ya do... if ya do, I will haunt ya. FOREVER. I got my own plot lines going here and ya seem to be ignoring me.
Also, if ya do that thing that ya and Swan Boy's mun talked 'bout, I will hate ya for a really, really long time. That shit ain't nice. At all.
Now, do ya think ya could give me some grieving time, please? Thanks.
-Robert Barnes, Esq.
But don't ya DARE forget 'bout me! If ya do... if ya do, I will haunt ya. FOREVER. I got my own plot lines going here and ya seem to be ignoring me.
Also, if ya do that thing that ya and Swan Boy's mun talked 'bout, I will hate ya for a really, really long time. That shit ain't nice. At all.
Now, do ya think ya could give me some grieving time, please? Thanks.
-Robert Barnes, Esq.
[Private] 10/23/08
Thu, Oct. 23rd, 2008 05:25 pmI'm tired. I'm tired of this bed. I'm tired of the false pity and the twenty questions from people. I'm tired of Simon. I'm tired of the nurses. I'm just tired of all of it. I don't want to do this anymore.
I'm getting rid of Simon tomorrow. I don't care what it takes. I can't deal with him anymore. He wants to run my life and I can't let him. I still don't know why he's back. It makes no sense to me. I don't believe his story. I don't believe him.
I don't think I can see Breacan anymore, either. I'm tired of the secrets with him. I'm tired of the way he looks at me, like I'm some sort of nuisance to be dealt with, then forgotten.
Maybe I need to leave this city, for good. It's only bad memories for me here any more. I don't want that. I don't need it.
[Written in a leather jounral, kept under the edge of the bed.]
I'm getting rid of Simon tomorrow. I don't care what it takes. I can't deal with him anymore. He wants to run my life and I can't let him. I still don't know why he's back. It makes no sense to me. I don't believe his story. I don't believe him.
I don't think I can see Breacan anymore, either. I'm tired of the secrets with him. I'm tired of the way he looks at me, like I'm some sort of nuisance to be dealt with, then forgotten.
Maybe I need to leave this city, for good. It's only bad memories for me here any more. I don't want that. I don't need it.
[Written in a leather jounral, kept under the edge of the bed.]
Bedside Confessions (RP for captain_breacan) [Complete]
Tue, Oct. 21st, 2008 07:07 pmEothian came by every morning, just like he promised. They talked about the weather, about sculpting and music, about clubs, about photography. They didn't talk about Breacan. They didn't talk about Eothian's crush or how Bobby was starting to develop feelings back for him.
Eothian had left for the morning and Bobby was dozing, petting Bette as he slept. The nurse was making herself some lunch when she heard the elevator.
Eothian had left for the morning and Bobby was dozing, petting Bette as he slept. The nurse was making herself some lunch when she heard the elevator.
